Frosty Trail 3-hour Winter Trail Race - Saturday, January 19th, 2019

It was a good day to stay in bed.

..so of course I didn't.

Instead, I was up in the dark hours for a morning that looked like this:

Maybe the tape will act as another layer of insulation for my feet?

Big honkin' bowl of oatmeal. T.Ho's coffee. Tanker's first real trip out of the house in almost 2 weeks. The snow started on our way up to Camp Heidelberg, and would continue all day.

We were the 3rd vehicle (apart from the race director) to arrive.

Despite getting there in plenty of time, I was a slow-moving walrus in the cold air inside the Rehkopf Building.

Both Tank and I still in our heavy down coats, even inside.
(Photo by Race Director Patrick Campbell)

So slow, in fact, that not only did I not manage to get my usual flaily warmup done - I actually missed the start by about 10 seconds. I'd just gone for one last pee and was tugging one of my mittens on when the horn sounded outside. Whoops.

I pulled my other mitten on as I trotted down the stairs and out into the parking lot to begin my first lap, along with a few other people who'd been similarly taken by surprise by the start. After the first lap, I stopped in at the aid station to get a smooch and my phone to take some photos of the course.

Not to mention a dork and a sweetheart.
Note that I'm already frosting up after ~15mins.

Through the upper woods

Conditions weren't great. The snow wasn't deep, but beneath it lay some ice on the driveway down to the woods, plus the much-more-concerning deeply footprinted frozen mud from the awful mess that was the 2018 Horror Trail 6-hour last October. In some places the lumps and ruts from the mudhole we stomped were 3"-4" deep, which could easily destroy my taped-up ankles or send me arse over teakettle unless I was very cautious.

Feets don't fail me now..

I managed not to blow the turn into the woods this year!
So used to going down around the pond at Horror Trail..

Lumbering along
(Photo by Race Director Patrick Campbell)

I honestly don't remember much about individual laps of this one. I kept things pretty simple with a soft-sided water bottle in the back pocket of my jacket (to keep both it and my hand from freezing, as would be the case with my usual hand bottle), and a flask of 4:1 dilute EFS Liquid Shot in the other back pocket. I'd take a slurp off the bottle on uphills and ended up refilling it twice, and I'd have a swig off the flask every 30mins, finishing it just after 2hrs.

Obligatory shot of the big stinkin' hill

Winding along

The worst parts of each loop for ankles were the straightaway before the sketchy downhill and the exit of the upper woods to the long downhill.

This is the straightaway - I know it's impossible to see the true topography of the trail

Difficult to even see the trail, let alone the sketchy downhill

The climb out of the woods to the driveway had the deepest snow all day

The worst part of all, though, was really the wind. It blew the falling snow sideways across the field to the north of Camp Heidelberg so you'd be fully in its blast as you came up or down the driveway - the snow would stick to anything it touched, turning the soft nose wipe on the back of the thumbs of my mittens into icy sandpaper.

And the wool tube I wore to keep my face and neck warm into a frosty mess.

The wind only got worse in the last hour, freezing my now-sweaty mittens solid as I struggled to keep my hands safe from the chill - I'd pull my thumb out of its solo garage and make loose fists inside the mitts to warm up, but would of course have to use all my digits in order to manipulate my bottle and gel flask.

You could still see a layer of ice on my left mitt even minutes after I went indoors.
Also: a bit of cat hair. Every cat owner knows it gets everywhere, and turns up at the oddest times.

Having jammed, tweaked, and generally abused both of my ankles multiple times, I was in a bit of rough shape but actually managed to keep moving pretty well. I had spent the first hour more or less just farting along (literally, at times - sorry to anyone I crop dusted!), putting in about 4 laps before stopping to fill my bottle. It took me until about 2h10m to finish the next 4 laps (filling my bottle again after the 7th), and I wondered if I'd have time to get in 3 more of the 2.12km course to make this one go to 11.

Up the driveway to the far side of the building.

The aid station out front of the Rehkopf Building
(Photo by Race Director Patrick Campbell)

You know it's kind of a lousy weather day when the aid station smarties are starting to melt in the snow

At 2h38m I was in the main woods on my 10th lap, sucking back an Endurance Tap gel with one of the last sips of water from my bottle to give me a boost for the last push. Coming through the end of my 10th lap at 2h44m I knew I had just shy of enough time to finish a full one, and hated the thought of the horn blowing to signal the end of the race just as I was about to round the building one final time.

So, I gave'er.

In a wee bit of weather.
(Photo by Tanker)

What's actually quite encouraging is that my legs had some 'er to give - while my damaged right ankle might still be problematic (to say nothing of the left, which has been giving me intermittent grief since 2016), it seems I might have managed to cobble together a bit of fitness again. I was able to run up the hill out of the main woods to the driveway and then up the driveway itself every single lap, and I was able to push quite hard on that last lap as the clock ticked toward the 3-hour mark.

I rounded the building with about 30sec left to go, and came to a halt. There was no way I'd make it to the 200m marker, so my race was done.

Just after finishing, in the best of company.

More-or-less official distance: 11 laps / 23.32km

(No results have been posted as of this writing and I didn't hear any announced,

so I have no idea how I did in the field)

(Full workout data here)

EDITED Feb 1/2019 - I guess I was 3rd place female!
3/10 Women - 6/14 O/A
(Official - or as official as they get - results are here)

Now, here's the stupid part.

I went back out again.

I make bad decisions.

Because of the 100 runs in 100 days challenge, I wanted to get a double in - it's been a bit difficult to do so lately, and with the on-course support and the folks doing the 6-hour still out there for a bit of company it was really the perfect opportunity.

What's not to love?
Except maybe the increasing wind across that open field..

Trail conditions had not improved in the hour-and-a-quarter I was indoors changing, hydrating and snacking, though. The snow had only increased its rate of accumulation, and there were fewer runners on course now to stomp it down.

The blowing snow across the field accumulated in waves on the driveway

20mins in vs 4h20mins in - a lot less visible debris on either side of the big stinkin' hill

I took it easier on myself as I trucked through the additional laps, walking wherever I wanted but still running most of each lap just to keep myself warm.

Winter wonderland status: achieved

It really was quite beautiful, if you could see it through the blowing snow.

By the end of my second lap I was at 35mins - well over the 30min minimum for it to count as a "run" in the challenge - but since I hold myself to a minimum of 5km for the 100 in 100 challenge, I headed 'round the parking lot and into the woods again for a 3rd and final lap just to make things square.

Even though my face was this red from the howling wind before the end of my 1st lap, when I dropped off my phone with Tank.

I'd known what I was in for - this was from 12:37pm, about 40mins before I started running again.

I almost seriously regretted that final lap, as I nearly bailed - I was trying to blow a snot rocket while coming out of the upper woods, caught my right 2nd toe on a lump of frozen mud, and pitched forward while windmilling my arms. I was just barely able to stay upright, but things in my hips and legs definitely got a bit jarred with the awkward stagger on uneven ground. I took the rest of the lap very cautiously, and actually felt better in a few minutes for having run/walked it out than if I'd stopped.

Further snow comparison

One more time up the driveway

That whole thing about having company to make things easier? Not so much. Between a low turnout for the 6-hour (9 people?) and a couple having cut their day short due to the conditions, I spent almost the entire 52 minutes and change trucking along by myself. I think I actually saw other runners twice, both times while heading up or down the driveway where there's 2-way traffic.

When it's cold enough to turn sport drink to ice, can you blame anyone for bailing early?

In any case, I didn't die and got my 40th and 41st run in on day 36 of the 100 runs in 100 days challenge. 

Very pleased I decided to wear my insulated jacket for the second go 'round!

There were no lasting effects from either the lumpy ankle wreckery or nearly yard sale-ing myself - I was actually able to run the next morning (at -16c with 50+kph wind gusts, but sunshine!), though not until after I'd shoveled out the driveway.

Recovery?

..and then I finally made breakfast.

Ragged

I'm not in great shape.

And this trail knows it.

Since Stride Inside, a number of factors have come together to beat me down.

First and foremost, Tanker went for surgery on Monday, January 7th. That was stressful for both of us, but was fortunately successful and he's in recovery. Unfortunately, the recovery will be rather long - he's off work for 4 weeks, then will be on light duties at the warehouse for another 4 weeks after that.

He has a long path ahead.

I was able to take the day of the surgery off to take care of him, but had to return to the office the next day - I do payroll for a couple of dozen companies, so this struck at my busiest time of the year as I scramble to complete year-end reconciliations for each company to ensure they will not end up owing anything (on which there would be penalties and interest). Since Tank was essentially bedridden for the first couple of days, this meant I would run up a thermos full of soup, a few bottles of water, and a cooler bag full of ice packs before leaving in the morning to try to tide him over until I could get home again.

He couldn't exactly make it out to a frozen waterfall to ice his swelling.

When I'd get home, on top of making a fresh, healthy dinner for us as always, I'd also have to do all the chores that I'm so grateful he usually takes care of: feeding the cats, washing the dishes (we don't own a dishwasher), cleaning out litter boxes, putting out the garbage and recycling, and all the laundry...and there's a LOT of laundry right now, since the weather has turned cold and I'm running 7-8 times per week in it.

These conditions call for a little more than shorts and a sports bra.

While Tanker has made progress and is literally back on his feet again, he's still barred from lifting anything heavier than a bottle of water - he now feeds our kitties before I get home, but I have to do at least some of the dishes as I cook with heavy cast iron pans, and the garbage, kitty litter and laundry are all tasks that require lifting. Because he hasn't yet been comfortable in the car, or standing or walking for extended periods, I also have to run errands like going to the farmers' market and grocery store by myself. Since he usually comes with me and helps quite a lot - we split up at the grocery store to get what we need more quickly, and he carries the bags at the market while I deal with cash so there isn't quite as much juggling required - it takes a lot more time and effort.

Like fighting my way upriver.

The biggest problem I'm having, though, is the addition of 12+ hours of driving each week, and the associated loss of my naps. Because our workplaces are very close together and our hours are similar, Tank usually does the 80-ish kilometer drive each way from our house to Mississauga and back Monday to Friday. I usually nap on the way in and way home, to supplement the handful of hours of sleep I get during the week. Instead of those naps, I now fight my way through rush hour traffic on the 401, operating on even less sleep (as it takes me more time to get everything done when I get home) and trashing my legs with the clutch-brake dance on the 401.

Fionn helping me make dinner

Despite not having to be in the GTA until 9am (as opposed to 8:30am, when Tank's shift starts), I haven't been able to sleep in as I usually eat breakfast in the car while he drives. Now I have to eat at home and take the few extra minutes to make a cup of something caffeinated to keep me alert before I go. Since winter has struck with a vengeance this week, I've had to get up earlier and earlier in order to make it to work on time; then, on top of having to brush snow or scrape ice off the car every morning this week, there's been a lane closure at Hwy 6N since Tuesday morning that has the highway down to a crawl. So, I get even less sleep in an attempt to make it to my office for 9.

When I do get here, I often find myself stuck - I usually have a coffee with Tanker on his 3pm break by taking my lunch at that time, but between my normal work, payroll year-end, and some other projects that have come out of nowhere, I've struggled to get away from my desk at all. I'm supposed to have an hour for lunch and leave work at 5pm: this week especially, I've been taking my lunch at more like 3:45pm and working until at least 6pm.

Though I have still been running on my lunch, and got to explore a path along this lovely little creek on Monday.

I didn't even make it to mu Mum's last week - we usually visit her every Wednesday evening to give her some company, help out with some chores, and put the garbage out as she had limited mobility. I did stop by this week, but only after putting in 2 hours of overtime. Once I'd finally managed to get the trash out (another thing that Tanker usually handles, bless him) and chatted for a bit, it was 10pm by the time I got home to start dinner.

Just to add to the stress of it all, while I was hanging laundry on Sunday evening our sweet girl Esme came into the room to use the litter box, and dropped a poop streaked with blood. I couldn't take her to work with me (nor could I take a day off), so I collected the stool, double bagged it, and brought it to the office (which it proceeded to stink up, in spite of my precautions) to drop at the vet's office Monday evening. This also saved us having to bring her in, as she has panic attacks in the car.

She seemed fine other than the nasty poop, but I was extremely worried.

The vet called Tuesday morning to say they'd found worm eggs in the sample, so of course now all 3 of our cats needed to be wormed. They asked if I could bring in the other 2 for a checkup as they hadn't been to see this particular vet, but I pled helplessness as Tanker is barely even allowed to pick up our 6 month old kitten, let alone help me get our old 20lb tomcat Karma into a carrier and into the car. The vet took pity on me, so agreed to dispense the worming medication based on the weight of the cats so I could pick it up Tuesday evening.

Have you ever tried to give a pill to a cat that doesn't want it? Fionn was just fine, and even Esme didn't put up much of a struggle, but my old buddy Karma was not having it. He stuck a claw under the cuticle at the base of my middle finger during the second attempt, drawing blood. He spat out the third attempt, and on the fourth he struck out with his paw and sunk a claw right to the hilt into my right ring finger, prying it with all of his considerable strength away from his face (as I tried to hold his mouth shut so he'd swallow the damn thing). I spurted blood, and he spat it out anyway before running away to hide under the bed.

It's probably not a great sign when you end up with blood pooling under the skin beside a deep laceration within seconds.

To make matters even better, after looking to the internet for help on how to get this worming medication into him - particularly as they'd all need a second dose a fortnight later - I was told that they're flavoured  tablets and "most cats and dogs will accept them as a treat". I grabbed the bag of treats Karma loves, laid down on the floor beside the bed, and offered him a treat. He gobbled that up, then I tried the tablet...which of course he ate without issue. I gave him another treat to make sure he'd swallow the pill, then got myself up off the floor. So delighted that I got mauled for no reason whatsoever.

He's still my big chunk of cuddly floof though.

As I had touched on previously, I'm still running on my lunch breaks - it's about the only thing that's keeping me even halfway sane, and I'm still doing what I can to creep up the ranks of the 100 runs in 100 days challenge by putting in doubles on weekends. I was actually hoping I might make top female this year, but I recently found out that the one woman ahead of me - with whom I was more or less keeping pace over Christmas and New Year's - either works from home or is a stay-at-home mom, and was being limited by her kids being home for 2 weeks over the holidays. Now she's putting in triple and even quadruple run days during the week, while I just slip further and further behind.

Oh, and did I mention she's in California? Definitely not dealing with the ice, snow and frigid temperatures we're getting here.

Though she also doesn't get to see sights like this sunset down the icy Speed River.

Any one - or even two together - of these things I could probably brush off, even when compounded by the everything-is-exhausting fatigue after the Stride Inside 6-hour. But honestly, coming all at once has run me absolutely ragged, and the worst part is that it's keeping me from being the person I strive to be. I want to be a patient, loving caregiver and wife to Tanker while he recovers. I want to keep a nice house for him while he's stuck in it, other than a short walk outside each day. I want to give our kitties the best possible life - one where they're all healthy, happy and thriving. I want to do my job well, and meet all of my deadlines. Finally, I want to train at a higher level so I can have a better season than I did last year, and take on some big challenges in 2019.

I feel like I'm failing at all of it. I'm so tired I had to pull off the road on the way home last night to take a 15min nap in my car because I literally could not keep my eyes open. The exhaustion and stress have driven me into survival mode, so I can't be the supportive wife and caregiver that Tank needs. I'm nowhere near as competent at the daily round of housekeeping chores as he is, so things get forgotten - I realised this morning I hadn't even checked the mail this week. I feel like a terrible pet owner for letting worms take hold of our Esme, especially since it's so likely that Fionn - an innocent little 6-month-old kitten - is infected as well. I was late to work twice this week, so despite all the late evenings I feel like a terrible employee. I'm barely hanging in the top 40 overall of the 100 runs in 100 days challenge, despite my best efforts to be consistent - even running the day after Stride Inside.

I've also been less kind than I should overall, and I feel awful about the way I've responded to this situation overall. I know you're probably laughing at my whinging right now, if you've even managed to read this far without giving up in disgust - so many people have it so much worse, and I'm crumbling under the pressure of far less than any single parent goes through for years on end. I'm ashamed of who I am as a person, and my lack of ability to cope with adversity.

Running has been my solace - if there's a silver lining, it's that running from my office (instead of Tank's warehouse, where I usually drop off the car on my lunch break) has allowed me to explore some new routes in Mississauga. In theory, I should also be happy that I will be able to do so with friends tomorrow at the Frosty Trail 3-hour. Unfortunately, it's difficult to look forward to running in this:

Mrph.

My number one goal will have to be to keep myself in sufficiently good condition that I'm still able to get everything done around the house this weekend - I can't be reduced to walking sideways down stairs if I have laundry baskets to carry. I'd like to try to wait an hour after the end of the 3-hour and then head out for a second run with the folks doing the 6-hour to make it a double, though I know it will be difficult to convince myself to do so in the biting cold and wind, and may have to forget about it if I'm feeling beat up; chores don't care if you had a race, they still need to be done.

Most of all, I need to try to practice more kindness - I may be having a bit of a tough go, but the people (and pets) around me deserve the best I can give them. So, I'll stagger on regardless, and try to be better.

Two weeks down - two more to go.

Bye Felicia

2018 was not a good year.

I'm just going to let it flow away, like the Speed River here.

I was in the best running shape of my life at the start of the year: kicking some arse in the 100 runs in 100 days challenge; had a solid go at the Stride Inside 6-hour and a beautiful day at the Frosty Trail 3-hour in January; and I'd had fun at Clay Williams' Valentine's Fatazz on the Saturday of Family Day weekend. With 294.5km of running in January and 99.7km in the first 10 days of February, I was building the foundation of a strong year of racing.

Victoria Park bridge all lit up

Then, as I sought some more laughs by going snowboarding the day after the Fatazz, I ripped my season to shreds. My right ankle was rent asunder, and the only reason I ended up breaking 100km for February would be a 3 minute run that I definitely should not have done on the 27th - just 16 days after wrecking myself.

March was a rebuilding process. I managed to run 2km on the 10th, 8.7km the following week (over 2 runs), then 17.5km the week after that (in 3 runs). By the week ended April 1st I was up to 4 runs and 28.3km for the week, but my total for the whole month was a measly 49.9km.

The other bridges in Victoria Park are lit up as well

April brought more building - I got up to 46.7km for the week ended April 15th - but also more destruction. A wind and ice storm blew down a tree in our backyard, crushing our shed and resulting in a $1,400 purchase of a new one (in boxes needing to be built). Running on the crust of ice over the snow that had fallen led to me knocking my right fibula out of place, which once again decimated my run training. I spent the next 7 weeks in agony, but trying to run through it anyway as I had races coming. I'd manage 119.3km for the month, though the final 3 weeks would only account for 34.8km of that (13.2k, 8.7k, 12.9k).

In May, we got the destroyed shed taken apart, but not until after another windstorm blew down the OTHER tree in the backyard. The final tally for tree removal ran us $1,000, and the yard is still strewn with giant lumps of trunk that need to meet the business end of our chainsaw. My fibula was still causing problems as I lined up at the start of the Seaton Soaker 50k, which was actually 52k this year. By the first turn-around at 13km I knew I was in poor shape and should call it, but I did actually end up going out for the second lap before DNF'ing for the first time in an ultra. At least I was still able to go backpacking for Victoria Day with Tanker, and then have the unique opportunity to guide a visually impaired runner through a lap at Sulphur Springs. By the end of the month I'd only managed to run 84.3km.

Impressive lights display in the rich neighbourhood up the street

It wasn't until June that I'd find a chiropractor to help me sort out the wayward fibula, just in time for the Niagara Ultra 50k. I actually made it through that one, though I definitely would have DNF'd had I attempted to run the 100k (for which I'd originally registered). As I recovered after the race, we actually managed to get our new shed built and reclaim our backyard a little. I ran a total of 126.0km - my best since hurting myself.

July started off with an awesome camping trip at Long Point, and I got to spend my birthday climbing a mountain as we toured through Quebec on our motorycles. While those things were incredibly fun, they severely hampered getting in any consistent, high-quality training...which I desperately needed prior to the Tally in the Valley 12-hour night race, especially as I dealt with mounting fatigue and health issues I couldn't explain. I struggled my way through 150.6km of running - 70km of which was just Tally in the Valley - and hoped it would resolve.

Swans on the Grand River near downtown Galt

During 2 weeks off running after Tally, Tanker and I ventured out again into the wild for a few days of backcountry paddling for our anniversary in August. When we returned and I tried to get back down to the business of running again, it became clear that there was something very wrong with me. On August 19th I finally figured out I'd gotten pregnant (the day after the Niagara Ultra 50k), and on August 23rd I underwent an abortion. Two days later I struggled through a single 7km lap of the OUTRace 30th Anniversary Fun Run. Through the end of the month I just worked on getting some consistency back as I healed, but my total for the month was back down to a mere 70.9km.

September was better in all ways: my ankle was still improving, my energy levels started to make a comeback, and I got back to consistent training...after taking a week to recover from the effects of a very long day and night (and following morning) on my feet at Haliburton, guiding a runner through the final leg of his first 100 miler. Despite that week of only 13.4km, I still put in my biggest month by far since my injury, breaking 100 miles in 30 days with a final total of 162.1km.

And getting to run through some much-less-snowy woods.

October was BUSY. After the first weekend spent racing the Sticks n'Stones 50k (which we all know is actually 53k), we packed up and headed up to Killarney for an incredible few days of camping and hiking. I didn't run at all until we got home again, so another low mileage week at 11.7km. One more week of actual training, then it was time for my annual bout with the big stinkin' hill at Horror Trail - with added mud and cold, cold rain this time. Still, because I raced two ultras in the month, I bested my post-injury monthly mileage once more with 182.6km. We also got a kitten!

The dome of old City Hall in Victoria Park

November is sort of where the wheels came off again. I knew that trying to race 3 ultras in 5 weeks was a little ambitious, but signed up for Horror Trail anyway knowing it would only give me 2 weeks to recover before The Beav 50k. I hadn't known just how much of a beating my ankles would take in the awful mud at Horror Trail, though, and that meant I went into the brutally cold, windy morning of The Beav with a great deal of fear. I made it through, despite my shoes trying to fall apart and some uncooperative spikes, then went into my off season with hopes of resting and recuperating before the start of the 100 runs in 100 days challenge. Those hopes were rather derailed by the discovery of mould in our house - likely a result of the humid summer, wet fall, and our lack of ductwork/central heat/air conditioning. I was plagued by headaches that lasted for weeks - whether a result of the mould itself or the stress of my home being invaded, I don't know - and would spend hours each day that were supposed to be "recovery" scrubbing and spraying and throwing out everything from clothes to furniture. Our finances took a hit as we had to purchase a large-capacity dehumidifier (in hopes of keeping future problems at bay) and a new coffee table (as the old one was unsalvageable). I'd still get in 134.4km of running, but it certainly wasn't the off season I had in mind.

I'd rather spend more time like this - out in the woods with my sweetheart.

I did, however, somehow pull off 6th place in the Women <40 age group of the OUTRace Ultra Series! A far cry from 2nd place last year, but not too shabby for being gimpy throughout the entire OUTRace season.

Unexpected!

The mould and financial woes continued into December, though, with the discovery of mould in more and more areas of the house and our car requiring over $650 of service in the last 2 weeks, plus Tanker's employer screwing him out of more than a day's pay. To top it all off, my ankle has developed a new issue - I think more in my achilles tendon than the tibialis posterior (which had been the major issue previously) - that is taking a great deal of time to resolve.

We did get a white Christmas, though, and I did my traditional Christmas morning run with my sleigh bells.

On the bright side, though, as the year draws to a close I believe things are starting to improve. We have the worst of the mould under control and continue to make progress, bit by bit and day by day. We are finally starting to get our finances under control, thanks in part to an unexpected Christmas gift. With the 100 runs in 100 days challenge having started on the 15th, I've been training more consistently in the past couple of weeks than I have all year - I'm at 16 runs in 13 days, with the 17th to be done this evening on day 14. Having already racked up 175.8km for the month, I'm confident I can break 200km for December, which will be only the second month this year in which I've done so. I won't break 1,700km for the year (I'm just over 1,650k right now), but I'm on my way back.

Which will help me work off all of this - we did have a lovely Christmas dinner with my Mum.

I don't know exactly what 2019 will hold - either in running or life in general - but I definitely hope it will have fewer challenges than 2018. Unfortunately, I already know it will start with some difficulty, as Tanker will be going for surgery on January 7th and will be weak as a kitten for a great deal of time afterward. I'll lose my driver for work - and thus the naps on which I rely so heavily - and add a source of worry as I try to help him through his recovery, while I try to manage recovering myself from the Stride Inside 6-hour on January 5th and enter my busiest time of year at the office.

All I know for sure is that if I can make it through 2018 still standing, I can take on just about anything..

As long as I have my sweetheart by my side.

Wishing you all a very happy new year - may 2019 bring you peace in your mind, joy in your heart, and prosperity for your home and family.

And if it doesn't, come on over and give Fionn the Fuzzy a tickle.
It helps - I promise.