Redemption

All of us have something in our past we're not proud of. Sometimes, though, a bit of effort can help you reclaim some dignity.

Warning: this post is only tangentially about running/endurance sport.

On Sunday, July the 29th, I found myself in rather rough condition by evening. I'd been awake since 8:30 Saturday morning with only a 2-hour nap ending at 4:30pm, run 70km through the night at Tally in the Valley, then gone to brunch with dearly loved friends in Guelph (with a quick stop for a shower in between - like I said, they're dearly loved friends) until late afternoon. There may have been some day-drinking at brunch. Ok, there was definitely some day-drinking at brunch. I wasn't drunk, but had been pleasantly giggly.

The only pink of which I am a fan.

As we headed back toward home, I realised I was hungry but far too destroyed to make food for myself. I could barely walk due to the pounding my damaged right ankle took while racing, and hobbled around with a cane. In this condition, I wandered into our local freshii looking for an easy, hot meal with some nutritional value.

I have a standard bowl that I know meets all of my food allergy needs, so I ticked all the appropriate boxes on the custom order form and handed it to the young lady at the cash register. A moment later, she informed me they were out of brown rice - the foundation of my meal.

Having pushed myself far beyond any reasonable point while on course at Tally in the Valley and being far too tired, hungry and sore to cope with any adversity at this point, I came freakin' unglued. Rather than understanding that they were approaching their closing time and might reasonably be expected to have run out of some items, or finding a subsitution (rice noodles should have been acceptable), I hurled some obscenities and threw my order form at the poor girl, snapping at her to dispose of it as I turned and hobbled out of the store.

Pictured: someone who clearly should not have been allowed out in public.

We went to another location and I was able to get my order, but the damage was done - I knew I'd behaved like the absolute worst sort of person, and while I did have excuses there is never a legitimate reason to treat someone the way I did.

I felt terrible about it, and resolved to apologize to the girl the next time I saw her. Since they had closed while we procured food from the other location, I couldn't do so right away, but figured I'd catch her there soon; we stop in at least once a week, as it's just about the only take-out food that I'm able to eat.

We tried the following Sunday, around the same time. We've been there most Thursday evenings for months now, but never while that particular person was working. All the while, it gnawed on me that I'd treated someone so shabbily for something that wasn't their fault, though over the weeks it faded to an occasional thought at the back of my mind.

Last night, we stopped in for our usual Thursday evening I-cook-from-scratch-every-other-day-of-the-week, give-me-something-easy dinner. Lo and behold, someone who looked remarkably like the same young lady was at the till - she seemed to be the only one working that evening, and it was once again within an hour of closing. I filled out my custom order form and placed my order, not totally sure I was facing the same person.

Regardless, as she passed our order over the counter and turned to walk back to the cash register, I asked her for a moment. I told her that I thought it was her that had been working all the way back on July 29th when I behaved absolutely reprehensibly, and watched her eyes go wide. She said she had wondered if it was me, and I confirmed and told her I was very sorry. While I had been up for 30+ hours, run a very long way, and was in enough pain I could barely walk, there is no excuse for treating anyone as I had. She kindly said it was no problem, and not to worry about it...but at the same time, she remembered the incident, so clearly it had stuck in her mind as well.

When we got our orders home I noticed that my assortment of veggies on my bowl looked a little light-handed - not enough to complain, but certainly the bare minimum amounts that could pass. I wondered if it had been a jab - conscious or not - at the horrible person who'd snapped and cursed at her 4 months (to the very day) beforehand. If it was subconscious, I hope I was able to put that simmering resentment to rest, as that's a horrible thing to have bestowed on another person.

As we head into a hectic season that will bring most of us in contact with many people who make their living by serving the general public, I invite you to use me as a cautionary example. While you may be feeling the effects of pressure and strain in your life, it costs nothing to show respect and kindness to those around you. When you fail to do so, take ownership of the wrong you have done and put in some effort to make amends. It may be a small incident in the grand scheme of things, but there's no reason you can't try to be better - both for your own peace of mind and for the good of those around you.

It sure feels good to get that monkey off my back.
Now, if I can just work on this one..

Have a wonderful weekend, folks, and be good to each other out there!