Unglamorous

When you think of running trails, you usually picture some gorgeous scenery.

Maybe some roots and rocks, maybe a sun-drenched forest.

It seems like it'll be all good times - stunning views, prancing gracefully like a deer along flowy singletrack, maybe a burst of sun over a neat rock formation.

That's how they get ya..

I'm here to tell you though - it's ALL LIES.

This little guy belongs out there - you don't.

First, it's almost never going to be the right temperature. Either the shade of the trees will keep it just a little too cool to be comfortable, or you'll go expecting the forest to spare you from the blazing sun and instead end up exposed and burnt.

*melting*

Even when the trees do offer some shade, sometimes they just trap the heat while eliminating any chance of a cooling breeze.

And the foliage gets handsy, too!

"Ok" you say, "I'll just go when it's either early or late, so it'll be cooler out".

Guess what else is out then?

Mosquitoes. THOUSANDS OF THEM.

I'd stop to admire the view but I'd die of blood loss in seconds.

They don't give a damn about your bug spray, either - that stuff will just melt off you as you become drenched with sweat.

I'm talking "almost completely saturate a trucker hat" kind of drenched.

So you better keep moving as fast as you can, but that might not be quick enough to outrun the bugs - especially the deer flies. You see, it's not like the nice, predictable surface of the roads, where your speed is only dictated by the amount of effort and fitness you have. Out on the trails, you'll have to slow down to pick your way through the tricky bits.

Or you can just resign yourself to tripping over stuff and falling a lot, and THEN being eaten alive.

Sometimes the bugs don't even need to bite in order to be a pain - there I was, just enjoying a nice run along the river one evening, and A BUG FLEW IN MY MOUTH. 

TWICE.

*swarming noises*

Heck, some of those trails are super sketchy - you make one wrong move, and you're rolling down an embankment. 

These trails usually feature lots of things to trip over, too.

There aren't any washrooms or water fountains - you've got to bring everything you need yourself, and haul it around with you. So much extra work!

You should probably just run away.

When it's wet you'll get all muddy, but even when it's dry you may very well find yourself sporting a dirt tan.

Or maybe a tick or two, which is definitely no laughing matter.

That's if you can even find your way out again - some of those trails just seem to loop back on themselves, so you can get really lost!

Better bring a headlamp, just in case you end up out there after sunset.

I mean really - who wants to risk all that nastiness just for a bit of this?

Umm..

Or trail snacks found along the way?

I mean jeez, they're not even ripe yet!

You're heckin' right I DO!

WHEEEEEE

And you should, too. It may not be glamorous, but trail running is one of the true joys of life - just a body moving through the woods, trying to explore as much beauty as possible. So what if I end up exhausted, sore, sweaty, dehydrated, and covered in bug bites? It's just the cost of admission to the world's biggest playground.

My kind of place.

I mean really - TRAILS ROCK!

Not just figuratively, either.