Down for the count

You all know I'm a weirdo, but I'm going to tell you something that will prove it.

Don't worry - there will also be some photos that highlight the beauty of winter to distract you from my idiocy

I have this habit when I'm running - it's been happening for years, and I don't seem to be able to stop or control it.

I count.

Deep breath, 'cause it gets weirder.

I count to 100, over and over again.

Look - pretty snow and blue sky and sunshine.

It lines up with the timing of my footfalls, but I don't count each step - it's usually either every 2nd, 4th or 8th step.

Some of which are heavier - and more difficult - than others.

It's not an intentional act; I've never once said to myself "let's start counting". As a matter of fact, it happens so unconsciously that I'll just be out there boppin' along and suddenly realise I'm already at 42.

I told you it was weird.
Here's some singletrack along the Grand River.

I haven't listened to music on training runs in many years. I used to love my mp3 player - nothing like some punk rawk, metal or industrial to keep the legs ticking over when you're feeling a bit ragged - but when I started to run again after an injury (and almost a month off) somewhere around February 2012 I decided it would be better to listen to what my body was telling me than to some hard, crunchy beats. I was only running for a few minutes at a time to begin with, anyway - hardly worth it to get headphone wires sorted through winter clothing for a measly kilometer.

Not to mention that winter running surfaces can be a little...uncertain.

Without music, I was better able to tune in to what my body was telling me. I could also spend time alone with my thoughts, processing things that needed working through or simply taking in the world around me as I plodded through it.

There's so much beauty out there, if you take a moment to look and appreciate it.

Somewhere along the way, my brain decided I wasn't giving it enough to do, and started to count. Not in a meaningful way - I have to focus very hard to come up with an accurate number of anything, as I'll automatically reset at 100 if I let my mind wander at all. I did manage to count my steps over distance on a rail trail with kilometer markers one time (about 1,400 per kilometer, in case you wondered - my stride is short, choppy and awkward), but it took an immense effort. The background-noise counting endlessly from 1 to 100 is so effortless I seldom notice myself starting it at all.

Seriously.

While it's not purposeful, that's not to say it's completely without purpose: over the years I've actually discovered that it's a pretty solid barometer of how I'm feeling on that particular run.

Especially when doing something weird, like running around 1 city block in extreme cold and blowing snow.

While I say I count from 1 to 100, sometimes it's actually the opposite - counting down from 99 to 1, then starting over again. I never make a conscious choice as to whether or not I'm going to count up or down; the difference maker is my mindset in the moment.

Stay with me here..

If I'm counting up from 1 to 100, I'm generally feeling pretty good about the run. 

If I'm counting down from 99 to 1 - or worse, sometimes it's just from 20 to 1 over and over - I'm having an awful time and can't wait to be done.

Like maybe I'm being whipped in the face and blinded by snow driven by 63kph/39mph wind gusts.

It can actually surprise me to find that my brain is doing the opposite of what I'd expect. If I'm having a lousy day and generally feeling crotchety or depressed, I'll sometimes find myself counting up...which tells me that while I might be hating life, I'm not actually hating that run. I expected that last night's outing at -20c/-4f with -30c/-22f windchill would have had me counting down, just trying to get my sore, tired legs to crack out a minimum-time-and-distance slog to qualify for the 100 runs in 100 days challenge. Imagine my shock to find myself ambling along quite happily, with my internal counter ticking ever upward.

I ended up even frostier than I did the day before in sunlight at -18c, but was happier doing it.

Another nuance that tells me how well or poorly I'm doing is how many steps my mind chooses to let pass for each increment. Generally the better I feel, the lesser the frequency of the count - I'll only count every 4th, or even 8th footfall. 

If I notice I'm counting down by 1 every time my left (or right - I don't necessarily seem to have a preferred foot as a trigger) foot hits the ground, it's generally a very poor outing indeed.

Sometimes all the sunshine in the world won't help.

So that's my weird little habit. I've heard vague tales of other people counting to 100 repeatedly in their heads while training, so maybe it's not just me - are you a counter too? Or do you have some other strange/interesting habit while you train? Let me know in the comments; in a winter that's doing some very odd things (from hovering near -20c to a predicted high of 4c two days from now), let's celebrate our weird!

And make some snow angels before it all turns to slush!