Getting down

Not really to business.

I've had rather enough of business lately

I've had a tough week. I'm trying - with not a ton of success - to start pushing mileage back up to something even approaching ultra training, but my ankle has been resisting. My back, too, has been causing trouble this week, and when you pile a ton of overtime (and lack of sleep) on top of that, well... I've been struggling.

This sunny run down to the market feels like a hundred years ago

There's a certain irony to Mental Health Week 2021 falling during month end, when I tend to have a rough time of things anyway. My company brought in an absolutely delightful consultant who took us through a movement-based wellness break at lunchtime each day this week; while I made the time to participate and truly enjoyed the sessions, a half-hour of yoga each day isn't quite enough to rid me of the heaviness that clings to me as I wrestle with a massive workload and trying to be a decent wife, friend, and runner.

Darkness just seems to seep in around the edges

I know it doesn't help that I've barely seen the sun since Sunday - deep cloud cover and fits of rain through the start of the week, and I only managed to get out for one run before sunset.

Though just before - it dropped below the horizon before I hit the turn-around

I really need things to look forward to, but it's difficult to have much faith in even the few odds and ends we have planned actually going forward when so much is up in the air. There's also something big - SCARY big - looming in the next few months, and the bit of scouting I've done for it has had the opposite effect of assuaging my fears.

Though it does involve a beautiful forest

I'm grateful that I have people in my life who are willing to put up with and support me when things are getting on top of me, even if I tend to convince myself that I'm nothing but a bother to others.

This guy right here being my main source of light in the darkness

I just need to remind myself that the sun will shine again, the flowers are blooming, and there are so many trails left to chase.

Can't quit now - I've got a long way to go

I just need to catch my balance.

..and keep looking for the little fragments of joy.

Wishing you peace in your heart and sunshine in your life. If you're struggling too, please know that I am here to support you; don't ever hesitate for a moment to hit me up through facebook or instagram, or by smoke signal or carrier pigeon or however you feel most comfortable. I may not have the answers to what troubles you, but I am always happy to offer an ear to listen or shoulder to cry on, and I never want you to feel like a burden or less than.

You don't have to be perfect - you just have to be you.

You are not alone: you are worthy and deserving of love and care, and capable of so much more than you could possibly imagine. I may not be great at believing in myself, but rest assured that I believe in YOU.